The UPS Conpiracy

Well it all happened the first couple times I went to Tom's Drive In with my next door neighbor, John Paul. That was when we saw...Dan. As you can guess, Dan is a UPS man. We didn't think much about it, until we constantly saw him there, so every time me and JP went to Tom's we'd look for UPS trucks. Dan also had some friends. We never really picked up their names except one whose name was Jeff. Jeff couldn't drink out of straws, they gave him gas...or so Jeff said.

Anyway me and my friend got to talking, about what if these people were stalkers. At first it was kind of a joke, but soon, every time we went to Tom's, Dan or one of his cronies was there, eating popcorn and sipping coffee. That's right--popcorn and coffee. Now call me paranoid, but you canít eat popcorn and drink coffee at the same time. Popcorn is for movies, coffee is for the morning, no two ways about it.

What I think is they are actually hidden surveillance cameras.

Well anyway, one day I was merrily minding my own business, when my friend told me that on certain days when he walks home from skool, Dan is always driving by. You are probably all thinking, hey, its just his route. Well wait until later, ladies and gentlemen.

Also, one day I was sick so I stayed home from skool, and I heard the doorbell ring. I walked to the door and opened it and guess who was there? That's right...Dan. With a package mind you, which I think held cameras or other recording devices. That was the last I saw of Dan for awhile, but not other UPS men. I'd go to the mall, and Iíd see at least one UPS truck there all the time. Also I like to walk downtown, to the library. One day I saw 3 UPS trucks, all within a couple blocks of each other. Now going back to what I said about Dan's route, wouldn't all these freaky stalker UPS people be in each othersí routes? And one day I was just downtown buying things with my brother and I had just said something about UPS people, and what did I see? A UPS truck driving more slowly than necessary.

I also think that the Police department is in on this, becuz, on the way back from the library, I was walking by the Police Department and a cop car drove past me. What kind of lunatic has police patrolling the police department unless it is some kind of conspiracy and the Police Department is a drug house or experiment chamber. Also, on that same trip, not 2 blocks away another police man drove by. And when I was almost home, a police car drove one block ahead of me, stopped for a few seconds then sped on.

My thoughts on all this are that the UPS men are watching me for some unknown reason and they have other arms of the government watching me also. For all I know, Dan could be the leader of a Para-Military Group called Majestic-12 which is trying to take over world governments and become supreme ruler. I may have something to do in all this but I don't know what. If you ever see Dan the UPS man, do not attack him or do anything suspicious or else he'll come down on you also. That's my story and every thing in it is fact.

--Paul